November, 2001

I’m sitting in a conference room waiting for a seminar (a non-religious one) to begin. This seminar is designed for health professionals, counselors, and clergymen, so I’m killing multiple birds with one stone! This is the second time I’ve attended seminar on the topic about “Anger.” I feel people today in general are angry and don’t know how to express their feeling in a healthy way. This seminar narrows on “Adolescent Anger”. I always wanted to learn why children are so violent nowadays. I don’t intend to summarize this six hours seminar in this short article, for that would be impossible.

Reading through the handout, I found it interesting to note that “Violence is not hereditary, nor do humans have a “violent brain.” In other words, there is nothing in our neurophysiology that compels us to be violent. It is therefore a “learned” behavior as to how we react in different unfavorable situations. It isn’t surprising to learn anger came about depends largely on a person’s early childhood development, and there is no single cause. Of all the factors that can influence a child’s reaction to hostile environment, parental involvement during early childhood is by far the single most important one. Basically, there is nothing wrong to be angry because that’s a true feeling of an individual, but violent reaction that derived from an angry feeling is dangerous.

In this season of Thanksgiving, it is a good reminder to go beyond getting together for a family meal and reflect on how we can improve our family relationship. We take this season to thank God that our families are still intact. If you are parents with young children, maybe you need to reflect on how much involvement you have with your children. I’m not saying to only care for their “grade,” though that is important for their future success. But more importantly, the type of character you’re building in your children. Even with your involvement, there is no guarantee they will grow into a person you would hope for because there are too many other factors involved. But at least, it would give you a better chance. If you are parents with children older than adolescent age, maybe it is also a good time to rekindle a parent-friendship like relationship. They still need a lot of advice from us, though they would be the last one to admit. If you are grown-up children to your parents and yet to have your own children, maybe you need to reflect on the sacrificial love your parents gave you throughout your growing up years. Express your thankfulness in action. They were never the “perfect” parents, as you would one day find out about yourself.

Before I sign off, I would like you to know that God wants to be your father. In Him, there is perfect love. But He would not force His love onto anyone. You need to accept it with you Free Will on His term—believe Jesus as God.

Pastor Larry