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Pastor's Corner by Pastor Larry Tong

June 2007

Happy Father’s Day! I hope you will set aside a wonderful day to celebrate this special day. I read a story about an Olympian by the name of Bill Havens. He was selected to represent the United States to compete in a “Single Canoeing Event” in the 1924 Summer Olympics. He was good; in fact, everyone expected him to bring back the gold medal for the country. However, a few months before the Olympics, Havens learned that his wife was due to give birth sometime during the Games. He had a decision to make: the opportunity of a lifetime or . . . the opportunity of a lifetime. Difficult choice! He made his decision. He stayed home to wait for his child. The team left for Paris to the games without him. On August 1, 1924, his son Frank was born—four days after the Games.

Fast forward through all those summers when Bill Havens probably heard the results from every Olympic canoeing event and wondered if he’d made the right decision. In the summer of 1952, Havens received a telegram from Helsinki, where the Olympic Games was held that summer. The telegram read: “Dear Dad . . . Thanks for waiting around for me to get born in 1924. I’m coming home with the gold medal you should have won.” It was signed, “Your loving son, Frank.” Frank Havens had just won the gold medal in the ten-thousand-meter singles canoeing event.

As I was reading the story, many thoughts flashed in my mind. Was it too much for this father to forfeit the opportunity of his lifetime to have a chance to win the Olympics gold just to be around for the birth of his son? Wouldn’t it been better if he show his son the gold medal he would have won? What would be my choice if I were in his situation? This brings me back to my own experience when my daughter was born over twenty-years ago. It was on a Saturday, and I was unable to find anyone from work to take my shift. After settling my wife in the hospital, I had to reluctantly leave her for work. In a way I had no choice, but after all these years, I still feel that I owe my daughter something. I don’t think anything would change from me being there (I won’t go into the delivery room, anyway), but to me, there was a void somehow. I just can’t explain it.

Decision making is, at times, very difficult. We are faced with decisions, big or small, throughout the day. Some don’t have long lasting effects, while others leave a permanent mark in our life-history. Bearing the name of a father is easy, but to be a father isn’t as simple as it sounds. To be an effective father is even harder. I read a book by Ken Canfield, entitled The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers. Without going into any detail, I’ll just give you the chapter title and let you think about it on your own. They are Commitment; Knowing your child; Consistency; Protecting and Providing; Loving their mother; Active listening; and Spiritual Equipping. While you celebrate Father’s Day this month, as children, thank your father for what he has done for you; he has a difficult job, therefore, respect him. As fathers, think about which area you can improve so that you may be a more effective father.

Before I sign off, I would like to invite you to know God as your Heavenly Father. To show His love for you, He made a decision to sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross to pay for the penalty of Sin so that by believing in Jesus, you may have Eternal Life. Will you make a decision to accept God as your Father?

                                                                                                         Pastor Larry

父親節快樂！我希望你會預留這美好的一天來慶祝這特別的日子。我讀到一個有關一名奧運選手Bill Havens的故事，他本來是代表美國參加1924年夏季舉行的奧運會中的獨木舟賽事。每個人都認為他會為國家帶來一面金牌，但在奧運會前數月，他意識到太太將於奧運期間生產，他必須作出一個決定：一個一生難得的機會或是千載難逢的機會是挺難的抉擇。他最後決定留在家中等待孩子的出生，他的隊友自行往巴黎參賽。1924年8月1日他的兒子Frank出生—就在比賽後的四天。

試想一下這些年來當Bill Havens聽到有關奧運獨木舟賽事的結果時，會否懷疑自己的決定呢？在1952年的夏天，Havens收到從當年舉辦奧運的城市赫爾辛基來的電報：「親愛的父親..多謝你在1924年等著我出生，我將帶著應該是你嬴取的金牌回家。」下款寫著「你至愛的兒子Frank」。Frank Havens剛在一萬公尺獨木舟賽事中獲得金牌。

當我讀這個故事時，腦海中閃出很多念頭，這位父親失了一生嬴取金牌的機會，為的只是待兒子出生，這是否有點兒那個呢？有機會向兒子展示他嬴取的金牌豈不更好嗎？如果我是他，又會作何選擇呢？這令我回想起我女兒二十多年前出生時，剛好是星期六，我無法找到人代班，在我把太太送到醫院後，好不情願的就回去工作。我的確是無可選擇，但這麼多年來，我仍覺得我欠了女兒甚麼似的。我相信就算我當時在場也無甚麼作為（因為我不會進到產房），但對我而言，仍是有點失落感，我也不能解釋。

抉擇有時是非常困難的。但我們每日都面對大大小小的抉擇，有些微不足道；有些則在我們人生歷程中留下烙印。被稱為父親是很容易的，但要做個真正的父親則並不是講那麼簡單了。做個有影響力的父親就更難。我讀過一本Ken Canfield的著作「有影響力父親的七個秘訣」，我在此只提供每章的大題供你參考。它們是委身、認識你的孩子、處事一致性、保護及供養、愛護他們的母親、作聆聽者的角色及供應靈性裝備。當你慶祝父親節時，為人子女的，感謝你父親為你所做的，他所要做的是艱巨的，故此，請尊重他；作為父親的，想想自己可以在那方面有所改進，好使你能成為一個更具影響力的父親。

在擱筆之前，我願意邀請你認識神為你的天父。為向你顯明祂的愛，祂選擇了差遣自己的兒子耶穌基督死在十字架，付上罪的償價；好讓相信耶穌的可以得到永生。你願意作出接受神為你的父親的抉擇嗎？

唐若愚牧師

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